Dear Katniss
by pretend it was just a dream
Summary: A series of letters Peeta wrote to Katniss but didn't send. Takes place at the end of Mockingjay before the epiloge.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Katniss,

We haven't spoken in a while. I mean, with you in 12 and me in 13, I guess that's what happens. I keep thinking about you. I miss you. I would come home, but I think that it would be best for both of us to have some space for now, so you can deal with your losses and I can continue to get better.

Everyone here says hi. Beetee went home to District 3 yesterday, he seems to be doing okay. Johanna is the still the same old Johannah. She seems to have taken in Annie and they plan on going back to District 4 after Annie has the baby. Annie is still a little lost. Losing Finnick was really hard on her.

She didn't talk for days, and barely left her apartment weeks. And I guess Johanna decided it was her duty to take care of her with Finnick gone.

Life's finally starting to go back to normal. People are trying to forget. But that's the thing that I am beginning to realize. That for no matter how long people try to forget and move along, people are still going to have battle scars. Mental and physical. People might stop talking about the war and the Games, but no one's going to stop thinking about them.

And that's a good and bad thing. I mean, we should never forget what happened because it's who we are. It would be forgetting Rue and Prim. It would be forgetting Finnick, Thresh, Foxface, and Wiress. It would be forgetting ourselves. It would be forgetting _us._ And I don't to forget about any of those people, let alone you. I really don't want to forget about us, but that's up to you. You know where I am if you need me.

Your Fellow Victor,

Peeta Mellark.

__Author's note__

_Hey everyone, thanks for reading. I hope you liked it. I got the idea for this a while ago and I'm just now posting it. Again, I hope you liked it. I don't own The Hunger Games or any of the characters that are mentioned in this story. Review? DFTBA ( Don't Forget To Be Awesome) everyone!_


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Katniss,

Annie had her baby three days ago. An adorable baby boy named Alden. Alden Odair. And he looks so much like Finnick that it's unbelievable. He doesn't have a lot of hair, but what he does have is the same copper-ish color of Finnick's. Everybody adores baby Odair. Johanna and I keep telling Annie that Finnick would have loved him to death.

Johanna is going to be leaving here soon and will be making her way to District 4 to get Annie's house ready for Alden and Annie. Then she will come back here to get the two of them, and bring them home. Then it will be only me.

I was talking to my doctors and they decided I could finally come home. I could see you and Haymitch once again. I really thought about it, but U don't think I could face it yet. I din't think I could return to the place where my entire family burned to ash. Im just not ready for that. And I don't know if I ever will be.

Your Fellow Victor,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**Hey every one! Hope you liked this chapter as much as you liked the first. Tell me if it's good, bad, awful, needs more purple carnivorous unicorns, anything. Just REVIEW! I got one review last chapter. One! Some of you favorited it and followed it, and that's great! But I wanna know what you think! SO REVIEW! I'm dealing with a lot of stress and stuff right now and reviews make me feel better! **_

_**Sorry about the rant. Again, hope you liked it! A new chapter will be up soon! Hopefully by Saturday, but I can't make any promises. Bye everyone! DFTBA!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Katniss,

It's been two months since I last saw you. Two months since you shot Coin. Two months since Prim died. You must be thinking about it a lot. I have. She was almost like a little sister to me after our first Games were done. She died young, but gallantly. She died trying to hep others.

I saw it. The flames that enveloped her were bright, just like the sun. I saw you, too. You ran to her, through the burning flames. I don't know what I would have done if you were lost too. You and Haymitch are all I have left. It's sickly funny how she escaped the flames of District 12, but she burned to death anyway.

I'm sorry Katniss. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for anything and everything I have ever done that has hurt you. I'm sorry. Maybe I'll come home soon. Good-bye for now, Katniss.

Your Fellow Victor,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**Hey guys! This chapter wasn't my favorite. But I needed to right something. I promise you a good chapter tomorrow. I promise. **_

_**I've decided to continue the story even after Peeta goes home to District 12. I will base it on important events that happen after Mockingjay ended. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Again, there will be another one will be up tomorrow. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**_

_**DFTBA,**_

_**PS: REVIEW!**_


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Katniss,

I'm starting to think maybe I can come home. With everything settling down, I realized I should try to get back on track. And to do that, I should go back to what I know. And the only thing I'm sure of is where I come from. District 12 has always, and will always be my home.

I don't know when I'll be back, probably within the next couple weeks. It will be nice to see you and Haymitch again. I plan on rebuilding the bakery when I get there.

My attacks are happening less frequently. Definitely not as often as they did when you were still in 13. So I should be able to run it with no problem. I have to go now. I promise I'll be home soon. I promise.

You Fellow Victor,

Peta Mellark

_**_Author's Note_**_

_**Hey guys. That was a short one, I know, but I'm really busy right now. In fact I'm writing this when I'm supposed to be getting ready to go somewhere. I hope you liked it. I will post another chapter some time soon. Review, review, REVIEW! Again I hope you liked it. Bye everyone!**_


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Katniss,

As I write this, I am siting on the train, on my way back to District 12. All I have with me is the notebook I'm writing this in, the pen I'm writing this with, and myself. I don't know what I will do when I get home, I will most likely stop by Haymitch's place to make sure he isn't dead. I don't know if I should visit you yet. I don't want to trigger another attack. I don't want to hurt you again.

I will never forgive myself for that. Never. Just like I will never forgive myself for tricking Foxface, and like youvwon't ever forgive yourself for killing Marvel. And how Haymitch will never forgive himself for breaking the alliance with Mayslee Donner in his Games. We will always punish ourselves for things we had to do. And now we all have to live with the consequences. But remember, we aren't the only ones that have to go through this. We have to move on, and that's why I'm coming home. I'm facing the music. I will see you soon Katniss .

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**That was embarrassing. I was reading through the story and realized that (somehow) I only posted half of this chapter the first time. Wow. I feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed. I should have noticed it sooner. I am soooo sorry guys. So sorry.**_


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Katniss,

I have been home for a week and I have yet to see you. Like I said in the last letter, I don't want to hurt you. I checked up on Haymitch before heading to my house. Thankfully, he hasn't drank himself to death yet. There are even more things for him to want to forget. His games, the kids he has mentored, their deaths, the death of his family, our games, our _second _games, the rebellion. They all add up. All the little things count. They all hurt.

I wish I could choose what I can remember and what I can forget. It would make things a lot easier, but at the same time harder. I don't know if you remember, but in my very first letter to you, I said forgetting is a bad thing. That our past makes us who we are right now, at this very point in time. But, forgetting can be good. It can make all the pain go away. All the nightmares. All the regret could disappear if I could forget everything that happened in the past three years.

But if I did that, hypothetically speaking, if I chose to forget everything, would I still be the same person I am now? Would I be the Peeta Mellark everybody knows? Or would I be a sick and twisted brain washed capitol toy? I don't know, and I guess it's a good thing we can't find out.

Anyway, that's all I have say for right now. Bye Katniss. I'll see you soon.

Your Fellow Victor,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**Okay guys, that chapters done. Thanks for reading. You can all thank the school I go to for making us take a type of standardized test once a quarter (at my school, we don't have semesters, we have quarters. Weird, huh?) as well as our state testing at the end of the year. I have to take a test in English tomorrow, and one for math on Thursday, so tonight I have no homework, that's why you have an update so soon. **_

_**I'm sorry if I'm confusing you guys. I feel like I'm talking in circles. Sigh. This is what happens when I have pancakes for dinner! I get confused!**_

_**You guys should check out my story A Run In With Death! You will if you love me. HAHAHA. But seriously, check it out. AND REVIEW IT! I don't have many reviews...or readers for the story. In fact, the latest chapter has two views. Two. But ya. That's all for now. See ya next time. Thanks for reading!**_

_**REVIEW AND DFTBA!**_


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Katniss,

I have an idea, but I'm not sure you will like it. After you think about it you might, but not at first. I think that we should plant flowers. But not any flowers. Primroses were what I had in mind. In the last letter I talked about how I'm not a hero, and that I shouldn't be called one, but Prim. Prim does deserve to be named a hero.

At the age of thirteen, she went onto a battlefield to help dyeing children. And not even children from the districts. Not children on our own side. She did this knowing there would be guns firing, explosions ringing out across the land, and people dropping dead all around her. She was thirteen. Just _thirteen_. She's the real hero. Not you, not me, not Coin, nor Paylor. She was a hero. Just remember that. I said this before an I will say it again. She died gallantly.

I still haven't seen you, so I haven't asked if planting the flowers are okay, but I start the work tomorrow, right in front of your house. I hope you don't mind. I bet you won't. Well, I will see you tomorrow, hopefully. Good bye, Katniss.

Your Fellow Victor,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**Hey everyone! That chapter was mleh, I know. But I just got back from my writer's group meeting, and I wanted to write something. So there you go. I hope you liked it. Sorry for the shortness. **_

_**I have a deal for you guys, if I get five reviews on this chapter, I will post the next chapter tomorrow, and not when I feel like posting it. Can we try that? I don't get a lot of reviews, but I have a lot of readers.**_

_**Chech out my other Hunger Games fanfic. called A Run In With Death. REVIEW THAT TOO! Sorry, I just like reviews. They make me happy. I bet you would laugh at the mini-dance I do when I see i n my email that so-and-so12345 reviewed (insert whatever story here). It's quite comical. **_

_**Anyway...say anything in the reviews. I don't care. If you like it, hate it, needs more purple carnivorous unicorns, or ideas for another chapter. Or if you want to see me write a new story that you have an idea for. ANYTHING!**_

_**REVIEW AND DFTBA!**_


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Katniss,

After two and a half months, I have finally spoken to you again. I felt great planting the flowers. I was honoring Prim. She will be remembered whenever you or I see the bright yellow petals. But what felt even better was when you were hugging me. I felt complete for once in a long time. Holding you in my arms once again. I could finally smile.

But then you told me you had to go, and it killed me to watch you walk away and close your door behind you. I only saw you for five minutes after two months, and you walked away. I realize that it's not the last time that I will ever see you, and I know you live across the street from me, but it pained me when I heard the heavy door click shut behind you.

After you left, I finished the job, which only took about two hours, then I went home myself. I didn't know what to do at first. I visited Haymitch today. Did you know he decided to start raising geese? Well he is. Let's see how that turns out, shall we? Well, that's all for now, Katniss. See you again soon.

Your Fellow Victor,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**So that is that. This chapter is done. Hopefully I will have another up on Sunday. No promises. I was writing this while I am really angry, so sorry if it sucks. Grrr. Anyway, please review. Please? For me? Or my alpacas that live in my closet? Haha. I have to go now. My next class is starting soon.**_

_**Check out my story A Run In With Death. **_

_**REVIEW AND DFTBA!**_


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Katniss,

I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but I can hear you scream while you are having a nightmare from across the street. It kills me to know that you are suffering. I haven't seen you leave your house at all. Maybe hunting would help you, just like painting helps me. The problem is, only you can help yourself. Haymitch and I can't force you to get out into the woods with a bow in your hand and you game bag over your shoulder. You have to be the one to do that yourself.

Anyway, you probably don't know that plans to start rebuilding the bakery have started to be developed. It's not going to in the same place as the last one , it's going to be closer to my house in Victors Village, about a walking time of five minutes. That way I won't have to get up as early in the mornings, and will be able to get home at a reasonable hour too. Things are finally going back to normal. I hope we will too, you and I.

Here's the thing Katniss, I still love you. I don't know if you feel the same, or even if we can go back to being in a relationship. What I said and did to you in 13 can never be undone. I can't take back calling you a murderer and a mutt, and I can't take back almost killing you. And if you can forgive me for that, I would love it, but if you can't I understand. I love you Katniss. I love you so much.

Your Fellow Victor,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**Hello fellow people of the Internet! Thank you for reading chapter nine of Dear Katniss. I'm sorry for taking so long to update, I really am. That's all for now. Review everybody!**_

_**REVIEW AND DFTBA!**_


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Katniss,

You should really call Dr. Aurelius. Waking up three or four times a night isn't good. That's why I came over today, to tell you that. But I didn't. No, instead we started talking about what happened in District 13. And then we kissed.

I didn't plan on kissing you, though. I promise. You didn't seem to mind too much. I surprised you. I surprised myself. And I thought that you were going to make me go home, but you didn't. You just pretended it didn't happen. And I guess I can't blame you. After everything you have been through, I don't expect you to be ready for a relationship just yet.

Maybe you never will. Maybe I should just give up on us. If I can't be with you Katniss, I don't want to be with anyone else. Maybe I'll end up like Haymitch raising geese and what not. Oh, that would be the life (I hope you know I'm joking about that last part) . Well, Katniss, I have to go now. I will talk to you soon.

Your Fellow Victor,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**Hey everyone. This was a somewhat depressing chapter, in my opinion. Poor Peeta. I'm trying to move the story along so next letter will be set farther ahead than all the rest. All the others have been set about a week or two apart. The next one will be set about six months after this one. So bear with me!**_

_**I want as many reviews as possible this time around! Last chapter I got one. There are too many people reading this story to just get one review! I LIKE REVIEWS! THEY MAKE ME HAPPY! Anyway, I hope you all liked this chapter. See you next time!**_

_**REVIEW AND DFTBA!**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**_

_**Wow, this is the first time I ever have done an opening A/N. Anyway, just want to remind you that this chapter is about six months or so after the last one. See you all at the bottom!**_

Dear Katniss,

The bakery opened today, but you know that, of course. When the ribbon cutting ceremony was over, I saw you out of the corner of my eye. I saw a flash of your black hair, which reminds me of a ravens wing. I saw your gray eyes, almost like silver. I wanted to pull you out of the crowd right then. But I didn't do it then.

When I went inside to help customers, I saw you then in the shop. Looking at the cakes. It reminded me of when we were in the cave. All those bittersweet sweet memories came rushing back. I knew right then that I had to hold you. To feel you in my arms once again. I drifted away from my place at the register and mindlessly walked to you.

When I got close enough to smell the scent of earth and pine that seems to follow you where ever you go, I snapped into reality. I had one hand one your shoulder and I knew that there was no going back. We talked for an uninterrupted hour before the words slipped out of my mouth. But when I saw your eyes light up and a smile appear on your face, I knew that you didn't mind that I said I love you in a public place.

And it's okay that you didn't say it back, you made that up to me when you agreed to have dinner with me tomorrow. I will be looking forward to it. I will see you then Katniss. But, before I go, I want to mention it doesn't feel right signing Your Fellow Victor anymore, so here's something different. It's nothing to drastic of a change, but it's not too formal.

Yours,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**Hey everybody! Sorry for the wait, I haven't been able to write because I hurt my wrist pretty bad. It's getting better. Hope you all liked it! Yay for Peeta! They ate finally getting somewhere! **_

_**So while I was MIA, my friend introduced me to an anime which had become an addiction. It's a little thing called Ouran High School Host Club. It's actually not so little, a lot of people like it.**_

_**Anyway, if you guys are following my other story A Run In With Death, you will have to wait a little longer for an update, that's more writing than I'm allowed to be doing right now, sorry!**_

_**REVIEW AND DFTBA (please? For me? And if you like OHSHC than for the Host Club?)**_


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Katniss,

Dinner was wonderful tonight. I am happy you agreed to come. I have to admit, I thought you were going to decline yesterday. But, you didn't. And that made my life a little more worth living. I have been lonely. I haven't really seen Haymitch in a while, I should probably check in with him tomorrow, just to make sure he hasn't killed himself yet.

On a different topic, spring is coming. I can feel it. The nights are getting shorter, and the days longer. Pretty soon, all the snow will be gone too. I know what spring means to you. I know that it's when you feel the best. I wonder if you will feel okay this year, after everything. I bet once you feel the sun shine down on you, you will feel stronger than you have in ages.

Business at the bakery has been great. A lot of people have been coming in, and as more people return home, I'm sure it will only get busier. I have to go now, Katniss. I miss you already.

Yours,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**Hey guys, it's been a while. I am so sorry for the wait. I promise I will try to post a new chapter every week. I don't want you guys to wait so long, because now I feel bad.**_

_**Anyway, I hope you liked it. If you like this, check out a one-shot I did called Tell Me Why. Also check out another story of mine called A Run In With Death. And I would really like it if you reviewed!**_

_**See you guys later!**_

_**REVIEW AND DFTBA!**_


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Katniss,

I went to check on Haymitch this morning, I brought him bread and some other things from the bakery. When I went in, he was asleep at the table, knife in hand. I decided to let him sleep and left a note on the counter in his kitchen. The whole thing reminded me of the morning we left for our victory tour. When you woke him up and then I walked in. Then I thought about the night after we heard the Quarter Quell announcement, how I came down stairs, and you two were both nursing a hangover.

I remember that day as the day our lives fell apart. This was the day that lead up to the awful memories that we share. The murder. The betrayal. The war. Everything. And standing there in Haymitch's mess of a house, everything came rushing back to me. And that sent me back. Back to when I was recovering in District 13.

I rushed to my own house before reality slipped out from under me. I locked myself away for hours this afternoon. And while this happened, I realized it was the first time that I had an attack in a bit over six months. It's the longest I've gone. I'm starting to think that maybe, one day, they might go away. And if and when they do, you will be the first to know. I promise.

And now that I have made a promise to you, I am going to make a promise to myself. I promise that I, Peeta Mellark, will one day call you my wife. And now that it's on paper, I will not brake either promises.

Yours,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

_**Hey guys! How was this chapter? Good? Bad? Needs more big words like antidisanstablishmentarianis m (and I don't think I spelt that right)? You tell me! I love hearing from you guys! And I'm sick and bored and reviews make me happy!**_

_**Did you guys like the end? I'm not too crazy about it. But I had to make the start of a plot line, so yeah. That's about it. Sorry if it's not as good as the other chapters, like I said, I'm sick. **_

_**REVIEW AND DFTBA!**_


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Katniss,

I'm going to ask you to have dinner with me again this Friday night. Unlike last time, it's going to be a date. I have to say the dinner we had a few weeks back was nice, but it wasn't what I expected it to be. There was a lot of silence between us, but it wasn't awkward at all. I think we have been through far too much together for things to be awkward.

Anyway, the bakery is going wonderful. With more and more people coming back to District 12 every week, business couldn't be better! I guess a lot of people need bread. I checked in with Haymitch this morning. It turns out he wasn't kidding when he said he was going to start raising geese. I walked over into his yard and there stood an entire flock.

I have to go now Katniss. I'm running a bit late, but I had to write to you.

Yours,

Peeta Mellark

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

**Hey everybody! Happy Easter! I hope you have a marvelous day. I'm sorry for this update taking so long. Anyway, a quick thing before I go, I changed my pen name to pretend it was just a dream. How do you guys like it?**

**REVIEW AND DFTBA! **


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Peeta,

I found your letters. I didn't mean to, but they were just sitting out in the open. I am sorry to say that I read them. Before I go, I have one word for you:

Yes.

Always,

Katniss

_**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**_

**Hello everybody. I am so sorry for the wait! It's been what? Two months? Gosh, I really am sorry.**

**ANYWAY! This is the last chapter guys. I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing. It has been wonderful to read all of your sweet reviews, you guys mean a lot to me. **

**I want to thank Fangirlingovereverything for helping me out when I needed it. You should go check her out!**

**And for one last time:**

**REVIEW AND DFTBA**

**- pretend it was just a dream**


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